The Move

   As most of you know, Jordan and I are about to embark on the adventure that is an out-of-state relocation. We are packing up our lives and our two adorable Boston Terriers and moving down to sunny southern California. 

   We are very excited about the move and are ready to start this new season in our lives. Although the whole packing up and moving to California thing is not quite as romantic as it sounds. Moving is a lot of work and slightly overwhelming. Especially moving in the middle of our busiest wedding photography season ever.  Nevertheless, we are pushing through the stress and busyness and trusting that the future is bright!

   During this whole process, we have had countless people ask us one serious question. "Why?”  It’s really a great and natural question. But I have to be honest; answering it has not proven very easy. Usually we answer with "We just feel like we are supposed to", "We feel like it is the right time", "We have been thinking/praying about it for a while". These are slightly lame answers, but we know that the real answer would take up an entire conversation and that the asker usually doesn't have the time for the whole story. So that is what this note is. It is the full answer. Explained the best way I know how. 

   I guess I will start by saying that this answer may not make sense to a lot of people, and that some may even think we are slightly crazy. But we are very confident that this is right, so we ask that you bear with our craziness. The most direct and short answer is this; “God asked us to go, so we are going”. I will unpack that a bit for you in the following paragraphs.

For the last two and a half years, Jordan and I have felt like we are on the brink of some sort of major move or change in our lives. A slightly unsettled and uprooting feeling that we know now was preparing us for this move began to take residence in our hearts. Don’t get me wrong, we know that we were here for a reason during that time and were contented and planted. But we know now that this season has come to an end and that it is time to move on to our next assignment.

I can’t go on without saying that our faith in God is not just part of our lives. It is everything to us. We believe that Jesus loves us so much that he made a way for us to not only be saved, but to have purpose and fulfillment in our lives. We believe that in order to live in that purpose and truly be fulfilled in our lives, we must surrender our future to God and allow him to direct us into his purpose and plan for our life. I can honestly tell you that when we have truly submitted to that calling, we have never been more fulfilled or full of life and adventure. We don’t live to build our kingdom, we live for a greater purpose; building God’s kingdom. Call us crazy, but we want to change the world and we know first hand that Jesus’ amazing love is just the thing to make that a reality.

During that time of gentle uprooting I talked about before, we really felt God speak to us very specifically about trusting Him to guide us into some big unknowns and, quite frankly, scary changes. In John 3:8 Jesus talks about what a Christian’s life should look like. He says “the wind blows wherever it pleases. You can hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” He is not saying that people led by the Spirit of God are unreliable and unpredictable. He is simply saying that sometimes God will lead us places that may not make sense to us and take us out of our comfort zones into the unknown, and that it is not for us to question, but to obey. The Greek word for Spirit is pneuma (πνεῦμα). It is actually the same as the word for wind or breath. The imagery that I have in my head and heart is one of a feather that is easily carried along in a breeze. Jordan and I strongly feel that we must be obedient to everything the Lord asks of us regardless of how unknown and crazy it may sound. In short, we desire to be feathers in His wind/breath/Spirit.

Now that I have finished that sermon I will get to the actual story! ;) As I said before, we both knew something big was on the horizon for a while. But we never imagined that it would be Sothern California. We were ready for really anything God had in store, and had thought maybe San Francisco, Australia or even long term missions in Africa, but never thought we would be called to LA! Last October, the creative arts/worship pastor at our church and close friend, Marc Wymore, told us that He and his lovely wife Bethany were looking at taking a position in a church in Thousand Oaks Ca. My close friend Carley was there when he mentioned it and we immediately felt that we should pray about following them and joining in on what God was doing there. So we prayed for a long time and really asked God to make it clear if it was His will for us to go. Carley also prayed about moving, and God gave the OK, so she moved down in March. After a lot of prayer, we are fully confident that we are supposed to move to the Thousand Oaks area and serve with Marc and Bethany and Carley for this next season of our lives.

Although we are completely confident with the Where, and the Who involved in this move, I have to admit that the Why is still a mystery. We know we are called to go serve. We just don’t know what that will look like yet. So the answer to the “Why” could be “I don’t actually know…” And so it is with being blown by the wind…

I struggled with this uncertainty for a little while until I realized that it is not our responsibility to know every detail of God’s will, it is only our responsibility to obey. So I am perfectly at peace with the unknowns ahead of us. All I know is that there is favor on obedience and though it is not always easy, God will always provide all we need to sustain us as we follow His will.

Even though there are so many unknowns involved, and though moving is hard work and leaving family and friends is something that I just can’t even let myself think about right now, we are so ready and so excited to see what God is going to do!

Jordan and I are beyond thankful for all of our family and friends who have supported us and continue to support us in this huge endeavor! As far as jobs go; we will continue to pursue our photography business, Jordan is transferring with FedEx into a position very similar to his current one, and I am exploring the possibility of going back to work in the health and fitness field (actually using my expensive college education!). We are renting out our house here and will be renting a place down there.

So in conclusion, this is a faith move. It is bigger than us and we don’t fully understand it, but we fully trust God in it. We would also like to cordially invite you to come visit us as we will be 20 min from Hollywood and Ventura, 30-40 min from Malibu, Santa Monica and Santa Barbara, and an hour from the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!  We expect friends and family to come get their vitamin D fix in the middle of the PNW’s grey, rainy, long winters!

We are more than happy to answer any questions I didn’t get to here, or even have further discussion of what I have written, so don’t be shy!

Love you all!! 

Of Pearls and Pigs

Watch out all... this has the potential to change you life.

Totally not kidding... this revelation has totally changed my life for the better.

I'll start by saying that this is a blog about authority.

Touchy subject I know.

Oh how misused authority can be.

And yet how blessed when it is properly understood.

Many times when discussion turns to authority, the focus is placed on the authority you have over something, or how you should respect authority. That is great, and totally legit. But that is not the discussion I have been having with the Lord and with a few people close to me for the last couple of months.

This discussion is on giving authority.

I just want to clarify before I get into this that I am completely an advocate for respecting authority and believe that authority is important and God-given. Leaders, pastors, teachers, lawmakers and law-enforcement... But this is not the type of authority I am talking about at all.

Wether you realize it or not, you assign different levels of authority to everyone around you.

What authority? You ask.

The authority to speak into and over your life.

Who you are.

What you are worth.

What your gifting are and how you should use them.

How you view others.

How you view the world.

How you view God.

It has come to my attention in the last couple of months, that for years, I have given certain people authority to speak into my life, who (nicely stated) have no business whatsoever to speak into my life.

I have allowed these people to shape the way I see myself and my worth in a negative way. I have even allowed them to project their own insecurities into my heart, causing me to cling to them as my own. Though before this authority was unknowingly and unwisely given, I was never insecure in those areas.

Some of these people have been close to me, some have been completely unknown to me, some have even been in a position of authority over me.

Again I want to clarify. Respecting authority is vitally important. But that does not mean that the person in authority over you should be given this authority to speak into your life. that is a totally different type of authority.

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

matt. 7:6

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

prov.4:23

All to often, we allow people to speak into our lives when they have no business doing so. We allow them to speak their insecurities (that we have no part of) into our hearts. And tragically we begin to believe them, and accept these hurts and insecurities as our own. We blindly give authority where it should not be given and forget to guard our hearts. The results can be detrimental and they can effect EVERY area of our lives.

ABOVE ALL ELSE.... GUARD YOUR HEART!

This cannot be emphasized too much!

For heaven's sake! Guard your heart!

Do not be blind. Carefully examine where and on whom you have placed authority to speak into your life. How has this effected what you believe about yourself, others, the world, even God?

Here I would like to tell a story.

Once upon a time there was a nation who was enslaved for hundreds of years. God decided to have mercy on them and bring them out of slavery and promised to give them an amazing land of their own. Now this land had people inhabiting it already. But their loving God, who had performed the impossible for them time after time, had promised to deliver it into their hands. They sent out 12 spies into this new land to see what kind of land it was, and what kind of people were inhabiting it. The land was perfect. But there were giants living there. 2 of these spies believed the promises of God so strongly that they didn't even think twice about the giants. They were ready to go in and get what God had promised them. The other 10 allowed those giants to get to their hearts. Now as the story goes, said giants never even shared their views with these spies, but they made themselves believe that these giants saw them a certain way, and ended up believing some pretty ridiculous things about themselves.

"We seemed like grasshoppers in OUR OWN eyes, and we looked the same to them"

num 13:33b

And so they persuaded all the people to fear the giants and give up on their promised land. They roamed in the desert for 40 years until their entire generation was dead. Not one of them ever lived in the promise, it was given to their children instead.

How many times do we make up things about the way WE THINK people must view us?

HOW STUPID!

I find myself doing this constantly.

And so I am giving the enemy authority to use someone who I may or may not have ever even met before to speak into my life and make me believe something about myself.

To be completely honest. I have allowed others to negatively effect my view of these things too many times to count. But because I have realized this, and have begun to repeal and redirect this authority, I have begun to heal. I have realized that certain insecurities that I had are not even mine. Certain views I held are not mine. And that a lot of pain and frustration could have been avoided. I have had to break some words and beliefs and thoughts off of my life and reject them from my heart.

I have begun to heal.

Most importantly I have begun to let God love me.

And am learning to love myself simply because of how relentlessly He loves me.

Oh how He loves us...

We must remember that God... and ONLY God, should have complete and unquestioned authority to speak into our lives and tell us who we are.

Only once we have allowed Him to show us His view of us (which is pretty mind blowingly awesome!) and have learned to place our heart completely in His capable hands. Will we have the wisdom to properly guard our hearts, and wisely bestow this authority on worthy, godly individuals.

I am who He says I am. Period.

I think of this kind of authority in the form of a diagram. Think of a target. You are in the very center, and the Lord is in there surrounding you, telling you who you are. in the next ring you have your inner circle of people you have prayerfully given authority to speak into your life, but they still have to get through God to do so. Then the circles get farther and farther from the center. They are layered. That is how I now assign authority in my life.

There are a few people in my life who now have authority to speak into my life (all of which is filtered through the word of God, because, although I trust them, they are human and imperfect). That doesn't mean that I completely disregard everyone else, it just means that there are layers of authority that I have given. With some people, the filter does not need to be very strong, because these people are secure in the Lord and love me unconditionally. And from there the layers get more and more filtered until finally I have had to deny any authority whatsoever to some.

I would like to clear up something again.

People mess up. Even people with the best intentions will hurt you. This does not mean that you should not forgive them. By all means, to be able to heal at all, you MUST forgive them. By forgiving them you are removing the authority they had to keep hurting you through your own unforgiveness. Even some people in your inner circle of trust and authority will do and say things that hurt, but when this authority is properly placed and filtered through the word of God, you will not allow these mistakes to shape your views.

The people should who have authority in your life are God-given ambassadors. They are not determining who you are, simply reminding you of who God says you are.

Let me say that again. It is key.

The people who should have authority in your life are God-given ambassadors. They are not determining who you are, simply reminding you of who God says you are.

Those are the kind of people who you need to have in your inner circle of authority.

So friends,

Above all else, guard your heart.

Know and embrace the passionate, relentless, unconditional love that God had for YOU!

Learn who you are in Christ.

For a list of verses that tell you who you are in Christ click here.

You are loved with an everlasting love.

Please let God love you.

Please give authority wisely. It will change your life.

Go in peace.

-N

[Bless]ings / [Curse]s

So, I haven't been here for a while. It's not even that I have nothing to write about, it's just that I haven't sat down to do it. God has been working on me a lot and speaking to me about some profound things..... now that I sit down to it, it is hard to decide what to talk about first. Hmm.... Lets start with sin.

"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!" Deut. 30:19

"God is not the author of confusion" 1Cor. 14:33

Sin.

I believe in the Bible.

I believe that it's words are true.

I base my life on what it says.

The Bible says that God created the heavens and the earth.

It says that he is not a God of confusion.

I also believe in science.

Although some scientists will not admit the truth about creation, they can not deny the basic laws that rule the earth.

Gravity....

Entropy....

The Bible also says that God created mankind.

It says that he has blessings for us.

It says that God is just and cannot be in the presence of our sin

It says that he sent his son to save mankind from their sin and free them to have relationship with him.

Now I know that is rather jumbled, but bear with me as I make some assumptions based on these arguments.

God cares about order.

Based on science, he created a world that will only sustain human life within the confines of certain natural laws.

God cares about humanity.

He longs for relationship with humanity.

He longs to bless us.

Based on the word and social evidence, He created a moral law to allow humanity a chance for relationship with him, and a way to be blessed.

I hope that was not too ambiguous.

Basically, I believe that God does not want to lord it over us. I believe God is a loving father and friend and wants to bless his beloved ones.

But God is also just and perfect. He knows our sin keeps us far from him and repels the blessings he has for us. I believe our sin hurts his heart, because it robs him of the opportunity to bless us.

He's not a control freak.

As with the earth; he created order for humanity.

His commands are there to guide us into his blessings, not to keep us from having fun or living however we want.

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!" Deut. 30:19

I believe that every decision is an opportunity to choose blessings or curses. That at every turn our choices could fling open a door to blessing (even if you don't believe in God) or could slam that specific door shut forever and open us up to the enemy's curses (even if you do believe in God).

This is not religion. These are basic social and moral laws that rule humanity no matter who you are or what you believe. Just as gravity and entropy rule all of nature. Not because God wanted to have a bunch of random rules, but because he know that is the ONLY way it works.

Before I go on I want to again clear a common misconception. God does not want to condemn or be a tyrant who rules with an iron fist. He wants to BLESS us. He created a way for that to happen.

"Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules." 2 Tim. 2:5

I hope that is clear and makes some sense. I'm pretty sure everyone wants blessings. God asks us to choose them, then he shows us exactly how.

I know I have gone on for a while about this and I'm sure you are probable ready to click the close button and move on, but I want to give you an example from real life.

If I have a friend who starts talking crap about another one of my friends, and the Bible says not to gossip, but I choose to join in and talk crap about my other friend any way and this other friend finds out, our relationship will be seriously damaged, and people will no so readily trust me. But if I choose to do the right thing and stand up for my other friend, I will protect our relationship and may even deepen it, and more people will trust me because they know I'm not going to talk crap about them.

You may get away with it. But what a bummer that you are cutting yourself from all those blessings.

Just know that Jesus loves you dearly. He gave his life so that you could have direct access to the throne and blessings of God.

Just a thought.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

The [Perfect]

Perfection. 

What a concept. 

What an elusive ambition. 

What an extraordinary burden.

Yet all of my life I have been plagued with this deceitful craving.

Why? What makes perfection so alluring?

This weekend at my church (P4square.com) we were asked upon exiting the service to look through a few magazines to find what would best describe some of our biggest struggles and failings and stick them to a plywood board, that next week will be destroyed symbolizing the forgiveness and redemption found only in Christ.

When I began looking through all the clippings, I had no idea what I would post. Not that I don't think I have an failings, I just didn't know what would sum them up. Then I found it. Ironically in a Nikon ad (for those of you who don't know, Jordan and I are photographers and shoot Nikon).

"The Perfect"

And it was.

I grew up in a christian home. I am the oldest child, the oldest grandchild, the pride and joy of my parents and grandparents. I began ministry serving my church as a leader in "Kids Co." at age 10. I was heavily involved with 4H with my horse, and won most of the shows I participated in. I skipped a grade and graduated high school a year early with my AAS degree. After taking two years off and becoming a personal trainer, I went back to school and graduated from Central Washington University with my BA in Exercise Science at age 20 with a 4.0 GPA. I was and still am heavily involved with a worship band/ministry call Floodgate Alive who just released a first album last fall. I got married a year ago to my best friend and the best man I know. We bought a house, got a dog...

What is more, I continue to consider all these things as a loss for the sake of what is far more valuable, 

knowing the Messiah Jesus, my Lord. It is because of him that I have experienced the loss of all those things. Indeed, I consider them rubbish in order to gain Christ

Phil 3:8

I'm not saying all this to brag, but to prove a point. Although my life is not as impressive as some, I am a very driven person. I like to achieve and succeed. 

I HATE failing. 

I HATE looking stupid.

I HATE doing things I'm not good at. 

I HATE not being perfect.

The most absurd part of wanting to be perfect, is that you know it is impossible, yet you do not let that little detail stop you from wasting your life and breath striving to that end.

What a obnoxious lie from the pit of Hell.

Just think of the despicable pride that causes us to believe this achievable. 

Us who are born into depravity.

Pride goes before destruction

A haughty spirit before a fall

Prov 16:18

Oh what time and potential is waisted in striving for the imaginary goal of perfection.

How it must break the heart of Christ to see us cast aside his grace deceiving ourselves that we can do it without him.

I have experienced physically the results of an unhealthy infatuation with perfection. When I graduated college, I got marred, settled into a steady home with a steady income and a steady job in my field. The American dream right? But I felt so complacent. I was leading a "normal" life, which I love, but I was not achieving any extraordinary feat toward perfection. I began to have what I believe were anxiety attacks or adrenaline rushes at night that would keep me awake and miserable. I have since surrendered that to Christ, and have not experienced one of these "episodes" for a while now.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;

Blessed is the one who TRUSTS in him.

Ps 34:8

We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. 

We put no confidence in human effort. 

Phil 3:3

For by grace are you saved through faith; 

and that not of yourselves: 

it is the gift of God

Eph 2:8

Wow.

Look what the Lord has done for me.

What weight lifted in surrendering to His PERFECT grace.

What joy in relinquishing this crushing burden.

I don't have to be perfect!

What freedom!

I will fail, but that will never again be a legitimate excuse to keep me from trying.

I will "be strong in the Grace of the Lord" 

My everyday living for Him and Trusting in Him will be my ultimate purpose, and gratification.

I will rejoice in my freedom and revel in His perfection.

I WILL fail

I WILL look stupid

I WILL not be afraid to try things I may not be good at

I Will trust in Christ's perfection.

But he has told me, "My grace is all you need, because my power is perfected in weakness." 

Therefore, I will most happily boast about my weaknesses, 

so that the Messiah's power may rest on me.

2 Cor. 12:9

Oh Lord, may your power rest on me!

I am clean in His sight.

So go in peace.

Walk in His grace.

Rest in His perfection.

Be blessed.

[Tandem]

This memorial day I went on a 15 mile tandem bike ride with my dad. It was quite an experience. It was a beautiful day, and a lovely route. But aside from the lovely views, I learned something about life.

 

Riding in the back seat of a tandem bike is quite an experience. It is nothing like riding a single bike, and can either be a relaxing peaceful experience, or be extremely stressful. If you have never ridden in the back of a tandem bike, you must know that the only thing you have control over is how hard you pedal. You have no control over the gear, direction, breaking.... you can't even see what is just ahead most of the time. Now if you like to lead and be in control like most of us do, this can be very stressful and irritating. And believe me it is hazardous to your safety to try to lead from the back seat! But if you really trust your leader and you have good communication it can be very relaxing and enjoyable, because you don't have to worry about were you are going, or controlling the bike. You just listen to the leader, and pedal away, free to enjoy the lovely view.

 As I was getting used to this sensation of being helplessly dependent on my dad's judgment in controlling the bike, I realized some things about myself and about life.  I like to be in control. I like to see what is just ahead of me. But when I gave up hope of this control and just followed and trusted my dad's leadership (He is a very experienced cyclist, and a great leader in general), I really began to enjoy the ride. The view was breathtaking and I did not have to worry about a thing.

Those who truly strive to live a Christian life, can learn a lot from riding tandem. In this life Christ is our leader and we must trust him, give him control, and follow his lead. When we do this, all the rough terrain will be much smoother. You will not have to worry about the next stretch of road, or the next series of hills, you just keep pedaling away and trusting your leader. Of course if you try to gain control all the time and do not trust in Christ, you will fall again and again. You were not created to take this roll in your life. The back seat is fitted just for you, and the front is fitted just for Christ. 

So trust your leader. Enjoy the view. Look back over all the rough terrain he has so masterfully guided you through. Yes the hills will still be hard work and the dogs may bite at your heels now and again, but your leader knows what he is doing, and life is way easer when we trust him and enjoy the view from the back seat. 

5:2

Once upon a time a boy gave his five loaves of bread and two fish to feed over 5000 people.

Next time you think you have nothing to offer to a world in need, remember this. Look around you. Give what you have, believing that God will multiply it to get his work done. He doesn't ask you to solve word hunger all by yourself, he just asks you to surrender what you have to him, and let him be God with it!!

What is your 5:2??

And He Held Me....

Since about the middle of December, I have been periodically having what I think might be anxiety attacks at night. I'm not totally sure that is what they are, it's like repetitive adrenaline rushes for hours (imagine the feeling you get when you almost get in a car wreck, it's that... over and over again) sometimes there are emotions with it, but usually it is just physical, and it keeps me up..... late. 

The last one I had was pretty intense. I had to really fight a feeling of helplessness and despair. Needless to say I was praying.... a lot. Finally I prayed that God would comfort me, and would just hold me. (Before I go on I have to say that Jordan had been asleep for quite a while at this point and does not remember any of this.) So right after I prayed this in my head, Jordan wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, and with my head on his chest, and his strong arms around me holding me close, I felt so loved and safe and comforted. Soon I was able to fall asleep. 

God's love amazes me. I asked Jordan if he remembered this in the morning, and he had no idea of what had happened. It's so powerful to me how God uses people. Even when they have no idea of the way they are being used. I've always known God loves me, but this was such a tangible, and relevant way to show his love for me. I've never experienced his love in such a tangible way, and never so strongly through another person. He cares. So much. This was not a fluke, it has never happened before or since. His love is real. Powerful. Relevant.

Ask Him to love you. He will. It may not be exactly what you expect, but if you are looking for it, you will see it in a way that is so personal to you and your needs.