Tummy Ache

So I have had digestive issues for years. I have cut a bunch of food groups out of my diet, but it just seems that no matter what I cut out I still always am sick! I'm sorry to complain about it, I usually don't except to Jordan because he is amazing and listens to me. But I have to say that no matter how much I try to patiently perceiver it is really frustrating.  I've given up so much (food wise), I've had tests, treatments. cleanses, diets, supplements, read books, gotten advise.... with only minimal and very short lived results. I have always felt that this is just something that I have to live with, that I have to do what I can to take care of myself, and figure it out. I still do believe that it is super important that we take good care of our bodies because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. but I think I have gotten so stuck on trying to fix it myself that I have somewhat left prayer and God's healing power out of it. I guess that I just feel like it's really not a very big deal to anyone but me and that I just have to deal with it myself. So lately I have been really trying to totally give it to God and believe that he wants to heal me. But I have to admit that I don't think my faith for something has ever been so low. I usually have no problem believing and having faith, but for some reason this is a hard one for me. I guess I have held on to it for to long and letting it go is a struggle. Not to mention the fact that in the last couple of weeks I have been struggling with this it has gotten significantly worse. It's not that I don't believe God Can heal me, I just struggle with does he Want to, or is he trying to teach me something through all this that I seem to be a really slow learner in. I don't know. I'm sorry to complain. I'm so tired of being sick all the time, of not knowing what it is that is causing it, of not wanting to eat, but knowing I have to, of feeling bad for not being able to put my best foot forward because I feel so horrible, of having to leave a restaurant after looking at the menu because there is nothing I can eat on it, of feeling bad when I cant eat what someone made for me. I'm so venting right now, I don't think I've ever gotten this all out at once before. I'm sorry. I know I am really a healthy person, and so many people out there suffer So much more. and I really have nothing to complain about. God is so good, so faithful, I am wonderfully and fearfully made. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus burns with zeal for his temple. I am healed by His stripes. I will have faith. "Lord I believe, Help my unbelief". I really am sorry for complaining, but David wrote lots of complaining psalms, and I have to say that it does seem to help sort thoughts and feelings better than anything else. And I hate complaining, so this seems like a harmless way of doing it where no one is the victim and no one even has to read it. 

Wow, I haven't done this in a while!

Hey all, 

I'm trying to get back into this blog thing. I know I've been gone for a while. but I have a good excuse... adjusting to being a wife, and a homeowner, business owner, moving to a new part of the state, getting a new job, going to a new church, the works. So blogging has been on the back burner for a while. But I am going to try to bring it back! 

Here's a little update:

So Marriage is wonderful! I love my husband so very much, and am so blessed to have such a wonderful man of God in my life. We have a beautiful house in Fife. I am working at a place called Northwest Sports Rehab (www.nwsportsrehab.com). Jordan and I started a photography business (www.jnphotodesigns.com). We (Floodgate Alive www.floodgatealive.com)  just released our first full length worship album on the 15th of November. Thats all the big stuff I think. 

So I guess that is it for now. I'm going to try to make time to do this more. 

Love you all!! 

Nikki

Silence

Hey all sorry I have been so quiet lately. I've been so so so busy! My life is rapidly changing right before my eyes, I'm just trying to keep up with it.

Update:

-Jordan and I got a house (it is a beautiful brand-new three story townhouse in Fife Wa. - a total blessing from the Lord!)
-I am finishing up my last week in Eburg here at CWU and will be starting my internship in the spring.
-I am getting married in a little over a month (yiks! yay!)
-I am working on moving out of my appartment and back home
-I am still planning and working on the wedding
-I just did a day in the studio for the FG cd (which should be out before summer! haha)
-Oh yeah and I'm really trying to enjoy this last month of being singal and trying to keep my focus on the Lord!

Cool, well thanks for stopping in! I'll try to post more, but for now....... I'm sure you understand!

Velvet Elvis

So I am reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and I have to say it is one of the most thought provoking books I have read in a long time and I am loving it! I love deep thinking, especially about scripture. Anyway when I have more time I will write more about my thoughts on it. but in the meantime if you have read it, or have any thought provoking questions you are wrestling with I would love it if you would share them!

well POFN (Peace Out For Now) :)

[Deoderant]

So I just had to let you all know that I think the Tom's is working! yay!! thank you Mandy!! and it comes in man sents too Justin! I'm so excited!

Oh and just to let you all know...Jordan and I are looking at buying a house, so we could use prayers for wisdom, and that God will show us the right house! thanks!

73 days!!! wooohooo!

[De]odorant

What I need right now, is to find a deodorant that is natural that actually works! I know this may be random....but that is what is going on in my life right now. I'm sure I've spent at least $12 on deodorants in the last month(remember...college student...) and I don't like any of them.

I know most would tell me to rejoin the rest of the world and buy normal deodorant....but I am determined...for better or for worse I must find one that works! with no hazard metallic products, and no cancer causing chemical additives........ call me a freak..........maybe I am.......But yet I am unmoved.........I must find something!

Any Ideas, questions or comments?

So I've been thinking and I have a question. If a question you can call it. It is more of an observation with a why statement attached. A musing really. So here goes.

Why aren't Christians more spiritual beings?

Why aren't we more aware of what is going on around us? Why do we think that being in touch with our spiritual being is weird.

Even "charismatic" Christians who speak in toungs and dance around and cry in church and appear so spiritual, are not very spiritual outside of the 4 wall of their church building. We seem to often limit spirituality to what we do at church meetings not what is just our life.

Why do we think that meditation is weird, even wrong, or just not for us? I think our perspective is all off. I mean seriously even Buddhists and new age people are considered more spiritual than Christians. And they do not even have the Spirit of spirits, the Spirit of the Living God.
The Living breath of our holy creator GOD.

Maybe we should be more aware of this?
Maybe we should be more spiritual people?

Just a thought.